What Looks Like Crazy Read online

  I was silent.

  “I’m sorry I did what I did,” he said. He wiped his hand across his face. “I just have all this crap going on in my life. It’s not fair.”

  I had to force myself not to overreact. If only he knew what was going on in my life. “What makes you think other people don’t have crap going on?” I said. This was not the first time I’d asked him that question.

  “See how you are?” he accused. “My life is in the shit house, and you’re scolding me!”

  “You know what, George?” I said. “I did you a favor by not having you arrested.”

  He glared at me. “I thought you were supposed to be my compassionate friend.”

  I didn’t want to be George’s friend. I realized I didn’t even like George. I was tired of his drama and hysterics. I didn’t blame his wife for leaving him. Bad enough she had to put up with that bony chest.

  “Having a bad day does not give you the right to yell at or bully people,” I said. “It’s nobody’s fault but yours that you choose to blow everything out of proportion.”

  “You’re out of line, Doc,” he said stiffly.

  “I can’t help you, Mr. Moss.”

  He sat up straighter on the sofa. “What the hell do you mean you can’t help me? That’s your job.”

  “I’ll be glad to refer you to another therapist if you like, but that’s the best I can do.”

  His face reddened and his eyes bulged. He was on the verge of God only knew what. I waited for him to whip out his vial.

  “Then I demand that you give me all my money back,” he shouted.

  “We don’t give refunds.”

  “We’ll just see about that!”

  There was a tap on the door. Mona peeked in. “Everything okay in here?” she asked.

  George jumped to his feet. He looked at Mona as he pointed to me. “Your boss is a terrible therapist!” he yelled. “She is the worst therapist I’ve ever met.”

  Mona feigned a look of sheer horror. “That explains why nobody ever gets better!”

  George flounced from my office and out of the reception room. “I’m in the wrong business,” I told Mona.

  “Don’t talk like that,” she said. “Even Dr. Phil has bad days.”

  I chuckled. “Face it, Mona. I’m never going to have my own TV show.”

  At lunch I drove home to check on Mike and the puppies. I was annoyed to find that Bitsy had still not washed the paint off, but I didn’t have time to worry about it.

  Mrs. Perez had left a note, promising to check back at three o’clock. I looked in the laundry room. Mom and kids were doing well, and Mike looked eager to see me. I let her out the back door so she could do her business.

  “I need to make a doctor’s appointment for you and your little ones, to make sure you’re all okay,” I said, once I let her in. “And we have to get you on birth control, because you’ve definitely exceeded your two-point-two limit.” She wagged her tail as I thumbed through the Yellow Pages for a veterinarian in my area.

  I dialed the number and explained my situation to the woman on the other end of the line. I was offered an appointment for eleven a.m. on Friday. I checked my purse-sized appointment book, saw that I was free, and promised to be there.

  Mike returned to her box. Her children had caught on fast; they’d quickly discovered how to reach the milk supply. Well, all but one had, I noticed. The runt was having a hard time latching on to a nipple. Bad enough his eyes and ears were sealed closed; he had to try to squeeze between his larger brothers and sisters. I very gently aided him as Mrs. Perez had taught me, and I carried a chair inside so that I could sit and watch him. Once or twice he seemed to lose interest, but each time I led him back to a nipple and made sure he took in his mother’s milk.

  My last appointment of the day was with a nine-year-old boy with ADHD. He’d spent a portion of the previous school year serving in-school suspension, driving his parents crazy, and terrorizing the family cat until the poor animal began losing its hair. His parents and I, along with his teacher, had worked closely together, and we’d seen a lot of progress. The cat’s hair had grown back.

  Thad called as I was preparing to leave for the day.

  “I’m ten minutes from your office. Can you meet me for a quick drink?” He paused. “It’s urgent.”

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I’d prefer discussing it in person.”

  Thad sounded on the level. It didn’t sound like he was going to ply me with wine before dangling a room key to the nearest hotel in my face. I thought of Mike, but I knew Mrs. Perez would have let her out several times.

  “There’s a new place not far from my office,” I said. “It’s called the Bistro.” I gave him directions.

  I stepped inside the restaurant fifteen minutes later and spotted Thad at one of the tables in the back. It would have been impossible to miss him, what with his thick blond hair and silk Italian suit. He was tanned, toned, and handsome. Thad had the sort of slick good looks you find in fashion advertisements, while Jay was the type you’d expect to find in an outdoors magazine.

  Thad stood and pulled out my chair as I approached the table. I saw that he’d already ordered a glass of white wine for me.

  I waited until we were both seated and I’d taken a sip of wine. “What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked.

  “It’s really embarrassing,” he said. “It’s about Thomas. He’s having serious marital problems; in fact, he and his wife have separated.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” I said. I knew very little about Thad’s younger brother, Thomas, having only seen him a couple of times at family functions. He did not resemble the blond and polished Glazers; his hair was dark and hung past his shoulders in a ponytail. Instead of attending an Ivy League college as was expected of him, he’d bought a feed-and-seed store far north of the city. I had not met Thomas’s wife, a woman who was some years older and owned a small pig farm.

  “The whole thing has gotten really nasty,” Thad said. “I’d like for you to talk to Thomas before it escalates into something worse.”

  I held up my hand. “Wait. You’re asking me to become involved in your family problems? No, thank you.”

  “Thomas likes you, Kate.”

  “He barely knows me!”

  “Okay, the truth is, he likes you better than he likes his family. He’ll listen to you. All I’m asking is that you calm him down before he goes off the deep end and does something he’ll regret. Something we’ll all regret,” Thad added.

  “Why would he go off the deep end?” I asked.

  “I’d rather let him tell you,” Thad said.

  “Why me?”

  “Because I know you’ll keep it hush-hush. It wouldn’t look so good for the family if it got out.”

  “Oh, so this is really about saving all of you from humiliation and has little to do with Thomas.”

  “Right.” Thad nodded, then frowned. “Well, we do care what happens to him.”

  “I know I’m going to regret this.”

  Mike looked happy to see me when I arrived home; but, then, I was carrying a bag of fast food, so I wasn’t certain whether it was the smell of fries sending her tail into a frantic wag or whether she had missed me. I let her out, checked the puppies, and replenished her food and water. I tried not to feel guilty as I stuffed my body with junk that was sure to clog my arteries.

  After she ate, we went for a short walk, but I could tell by the time we turned back for the house that she was anxious to get back to her babies. Bitsy Stout was watering the plants on her porch and didn’t see my approach. She gave a startled look when she glanced up and saw me standing on the sidewalk in front of her house.

  “We need to talk about my front door,” I said.

  “You can’t prove it was me,” Bitsy said, and hurried inside her house before I could respond.

  When I stepped through my front door with Mike, I noticed I had phone messages. Again, Jay had called and
asked me to call him back. Just hearing his voice sent a shiver up my spine and filled my head with X-rated pictures.

  I tried to push him from my mind. If I thought of him, I’d have to think about the upcoming divorce, and then I would have to wonder if I was making the biggest mistake of my life. On the other hand, I was almost certain that agreeing to see Thad’s brother would top even that.

  I could go round and round asking myself “what if” where my marriage was concerned, and it would get me exactly nowhere. Better to practice my multiplication tables.

  There were a couple of hang-up calls, both accompanied by heavy breathing. I looked at my caller ID, but it read “unavailable.”

  I checked on Mike and the puppies and, as before, guided the runt to a nipple and sat in the chair while he nursed.

  Thad’s brother called me the next morning, only minutes after I arrived at the office. I hadn’t yet poured a cup of coffee or checked the number of pens in the mug on my desk.

  “I can see you at ten a.m.,” I said, “if you can be here by then.”

  “I’ll be there,” he said.

  He showed up as promised, looking as though he hadn’t slept in days. He wore jeans and a wrinkled T-shirt, he was unshaven, and his ponytail had grown considerably since I’d seen him. Mona looked perplexed as I led him inside my office.

  “It’s good to see you again, Thomas,” I said, motioning for him to sit down. “I was sorry to hear that you’re going through a hard time.”

  “I should never have married Lucille,” he said, “but she seemed so nice when we met. And she was pretty, despite being quite a bit older than me.” He sighed. “She was an exceptional pig farmer, too.”

  “What happened?”

  “She started going through menopause. Got mean as hell. Got to where she’d jump down my throat every time I opened my mouth. I had no one to talk to but Homer.”

  “Who is Homer?”

  “My pet hog. He was so small and straggly when he was born that Lucille said he was worthless. But he was such a cute little fellow that I insisted on keeping him around. Followed me like a puppy. I took him to town with me until he got too big to lift. Finally I told Homer I couldn’t live with Lucille anymore, and I left.”

  I simply nodded.

  Thomas continued. “She filed for a divorce. I got an apartment and started going out. I met someone I really liked. Then, a couple of nights ago, Lucille calls and says she went to the doctor, and she’s feeling better. She tells me she wants to be friends, and she invites me to dinner. So I go to dinner, and she has cooked a big ham with all the fixings.”

  I could see his eyes watering. He looked embarrassed as he swiped them away. I could feel myself frowning. I had a sudden thought. “Is this going where I think it’s going?” I asked, unable to believe it.

  Tears slipped down his cheek. “It was Homer. Lucille didn’t tell me until I’d eaten two hefty servings. She said it was payback for going out with a younger woman.”

  I was too stunned to speak. If Thomas hadn’t looked so upset, I would have suspected Thad was playing a practical joke on me. “I’m sorry, Thomas,” I finally said.

  “I’ll tell you, a woman going through menopause can be a dangerous thing,” he said.

  We just looked at each other for a moment. “How can I help?” I asked.

  “My family and I are at odds right now. I want to have Lucille arrested for killing my hog. I want to sue her for all the emotional distress I’ve suffered. But my family, including Thad, is against it.”

  “Why?”

  “They’re afraid word will get out that a relative of theirs ate his pet hog. They have this great fear that some reporter will get his hands on the story, and that we’ll all become laughingstocks.” He frowned. “They want it swept under the rug, so to speak. You know what snobs my family can be.”

  Thomas was right; he did come from a long line of snooty family. Thad could be a class-A snob when it suited him. “You have to decide what’s best for you, Thomas,” I said. “But I don’t think you should do anything while you’re this upset. I’d advise you to take a cooling-off period. Litigation can be costly, and it can drag on forever. How long do you want to stay caught up in all this pain and anger?”

  He looked thoughtful. “It would probably jeopardize my new relationship. I don’t want that to happen, on account of I need someone to talk to now that Homer is gone.”

  I just looked at him. I couldn’t believe Thad had dragged me into this. I gave a reassuring smile. “Well, if you want my opinion, strictly as a friend, mind you,” I said, “I think this is a perfect time to reach out to your big brother. I think Thad would be deeply hurt if you didn’t turn to him in your time of need.”

  I left my office at the end of the day and drove to Wal-Mart. Inside, I headed for the pet section and selected a gentle dog shampoo for Mike that would not pose a threat to her nursing puppies. I searched through dog collars and leashes and, with a grin, chose a matching pink set with rhinestones. I grabbed another bag of dog food and a food-and-water dish labeled “Diva.” It wasn’t until I found myself looking at doggie raincoats that I suspected I might be going overboard.

  As a kid, I’d never been allowed to have a dog. My mother hated dogs because she claimed she’d come close to being mauled to death by one. Aunt Trixie had told me in confidence that the dog in question had been a poodle, and the bite had not broken the skin.

  My mother was almost as bad as George Moss when it came to creating drama.

  I was pulling out of the parking lot when I realized I was less than fifteen minutes from Jay’s loft. I couldn’t resist driving by. I was within a block of his place when I paused at a four-way stop. Behind me, a horn tooted. I groaned, recognizing Jay’s SUV immediately. He climbed out and hurried toward my Toyota.

  I rolled down my window, and he put his elbows on it and gave me that toe-curling smile. “Did you decide to come back home?” he asked. He wore a black T-shirt and snug faded jeans. He was toned and finely muscled and sexy as hell.

  “Actually I was trying to avoid traffic.” I could tell he wasn’t buying it.

  “How come you haven’t returned my calls?”

  I tried to avoid looking into those blue eyes. I could get lost in them and never find my way out. “I’ve been really busy, and I have all these obligations,” I said quickly. “I have a new dog, and—”

  “I thought dogs were forbidden in your family after your mother almost died from being attacked by a rabid Doberman.”

  “This dog followed me home, and then she had puppies.”

  “Wow.” A horn blew. Jay motioned him around. “What are we going to do, Katie?” he said, fixing his gaze on me once more.

  “This is not a good time for me, Jay.”

  “Perhaps you can work me in. Should I take a number?”

  I put my car into park and gave a heated sigh. “Why do you want to talk now?” I demanded. “It has been almost six months. Six months,” I repeated.

  “Are we supposed to forget that Sunday night ever happened?”

  “Oh, this is about sex.”

  “Not entirely.”

  Another horn blew. I glanced in my rearview mirror and saw half a dozen cars waiting. Again, Jay motioned them around. “Our circumstances haven’t changed,” I said.

  “So we’re back to that. My job,” he added.

  “Hello?” I waved a hand in his face. “It has always been about your job.” A guy drove around Jay and flashed his middle finger.

  Jay ignored it. “Why do you just assume I’m going to end up dead like your old man?”

  I didn’t respond.

  “Why don’t we do this, Kate? Why don’t we, for the sake of argument, suppose that I might be better-skilled at my job than your father was at his?”

  “That’s a crummy thing to say!” I blurted.

  “Yeah, well, it’s pretty crummy that my wife has no confidence in my skills despite my years of training. The department wouldn’t
have made me captain if they didn’t think I knew what I was doing.”

  “You could have died, Jay!”

  “But I didn’t. It was a freak accident. An investigation later proved the building was not structurally sound to begin with, or it would never have collapsed. The fire was not hot enough at that point. I know what the hell I’m doing, Katie.”

  I had the ball of one hand pressed against my forehead. “I don’t care that the building wasn’t sound. I don’t care that it was a freak accident. It happened, okay? And it scared the hell out of me.” I wasn’t going to tell him that all my old fears had come rushing back at me like a huge tidal wave. I wasn’t going to tell him about the nightmares that followed. He would only accuse me of being irrational, as he’d done in the past. We would argue, and in the end nothing would get solved.

  “I’m sorry, Katie,” he said. “I’m sorry you got so scared that day.”

  A giant lump sprang to my throat at the gentleness in his voice. I opened my mouth to speak, only to be interrupted when the driver behind me leaned on his horn. I stuck my head out the window, ready to spew a litany of four-letter words at him, but I bit them back when I saw there were children in the car.

  “I need to go.” I put my car into gear. “Where’s your foot?”

  He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it. Finally he stepped back, and I drove on. Tears burned my eyes. Nothing had been settled.

  Mike just stared at me as I held up her new collar. “What? You don’t like it?”

  She cocked her head to the side, and her tail thumped against the floor. “I haven’t wanted to bring this up,” I said, “but you stink. I think a nice hot bubble bath is just the thing you need. That and a new collar, and you’ll feel like a million bucks.”

  I grabbed the shampoo and headed upstairs. Mike followed and waited while I ran water in the tub. I wondered if she would freak out when I put her in the water, but when I carefully lifted her and set her down in it, she seemed to take it in stride. She stood perfectly still as I shampooed her twice. I wondered how a likeable, well-behaved dog had ended up a stray.